- Havelock Ellis -
It’s Sunday morning, it’s going to be a beautiful day. It’s now 7 am. The house is still quiet. My store will not open until 10 am, so I have some time to think. I just reread my latest post about negotiation. I think I missed an important part. It’s the part of letting go. I have 30 minutes before Ashley will wake up and my dear hubby will wake up too. The day will start then. But now I want to write about letting go.
As I was reading my last post, I felt good. The negotiation ended successfully, everyone was happy. But is it always like that? Can we really always end up with a win-win ending? In the past, I wanted to believe I can always achieve it, but reality proved otherwise. And it’s not just in negotiation, it’s even in my life, I often think I can control everything, I can control my life, my business, what my daughter will say, what my husband will think, what he will buy me for my birthday (hint, it’s coming soon love). But I can’t. Admitting I can’t control everything and that sometimes I just need to let go were big steps in my business ventures and my life’s happiness.
Thinking about letting go remind me of a great story Athena told me once. It is a story about a small village in India and about monkeys.
This little Indian village was “attacked” by monkeys; they came from a nearby jungle and harassed the people, sitting on the roof tops and throwing things at passerby, hoping the people will drop their bags and then they, the mighty monkeys, will take possession of the bags and maybe even find food in the bags.
The village people were peace seeking people, they did not want to hurt the monkeys, they just wanted to capture them and transport them back to the jungle. They built large cages with bananas inside trying to lure the monkeys, but these were smart monkeys, they did not fall for it, sometimes the monkeys even disassembled the cages and ran off with the bananas.
One night, all the people in the village gathered in the center of town trying to solve the monkey problem. Many suggestions were made, some clever, some not so, some were crazy, there was even one person that suggested they should just leave the village and live in the jungle.
Hours past and it seemed that they made no progress and then….an old and beautiful lady stepped in and said “please bring me big coconuts, a small saw, a few bananas, a hammer and some nails”. Almost everyone started laughing. The lady stood tall, she had a long dark hair, penetrating black eyes. She smiled and said again “please bring me big coconuts, a small saw, a few bananas, a hammer and some nails”. After repeating her request for the fourth time, a group of kids went ahead and brought the lady all the materials she wanted.
The old lady, took the big coconut, made a hole big enough for a small fist to get in, emptied it, and placed a banana inside. She than took the coconut and nailed it to a nearby tree. She placed it at a height a monkey can reach. She went ahead and did the same thing with ten more coconuts, one for each monkey.
The villagers were laughing again, they shouted, what a waste of 10 good coconuts and bananas. The lady just looked at them, smiled and said “prepare your nets and cages to capture the monkeys”.
The next morning, as the villagers woke up they saw ten monkeys with their little hand inside the coconut screaming and yelling, trying to get the banana out, but you see the hole can only fit a small fist. It cannot fit a small hand and a banana. The monkeys saw the villagers coming but they did not run, they were just getting upset, they wanted the banana that was inside the coconut. The villagers brought their nets, they brought their cages. They caught all the monkeys. They freed them miles away inside the jungle.
At night the town gathered around the wise lady, no one was laughing anymore, they were mystified; they wanted to know how she knew. The old lady’s hair was flowing in the wind, her eyes were bright, she had an aura around her, and she smiled. Softly she spoke to the villagers, she said “in life the biggest traps are not the real ones but are the ones we create ourselves. The monkeys could have gotten away but they could not let go, they wanted the banana, all they had to do was to let go and be free. But they could not let go. They created their own trap”. She smiled again, stood up and as she was leaving, she looked at the kids and said “Don’t be afraid to let go”.
Ashley is calling me, she wants the morning cuddle. I want it too.
In business as in life, sometime the best next step is to let go, not all negotiations will end with a win-win solution, sometimes you need to let go. Letting go will free you for better opportunities, letting go does not mean giving up, letting go means moving forward. Don’t get caught in your own trap, have a willing mind to let go.
I’m coming Ashley! Ok, got to go. Till next time.